Where will the wedding be held?

Scenario #1: You are only paying for a few items of the wedding. Your daughter and her fiancé are paying for the venue and the dinner and they are trying to keep within their budget.  Everywhere they’ve looked that they like is waaay over their budget, so they sheepishly show up for Sunday dinner and suggest your house since you do have a wonderful area for entertaining inside and a large backyard with some big trees and neighbors that don’t have ‘tacky’ yards.  On 1st thought, this sounds like a really nice way for everyone to save some money! YAY!


Whoa, though!  You and your husband need to really take a good look around the inside of the house where guests might wander and the outside – not only the yard itself but the exterior of the house – need new shutters?  Shingles looking faded? Never did get that patio finished?  Haven’t opened the pool for the last two years?  Inside: floors – need new carpet or does the hardwood need refinishing?  Have you been putting off getting the kitchen redone since the stock market played havoc with your finances (the reason you aren’t paying for everything)? Bathrooms – major stains in sinks or on the ceramic tile?  Did the bath upstairs leak through the ceiling in the guest bath on the 1st floor?  Would you need to go ahead and buy a new sofa or get the dining room table refinished, paint the downstairs (which would lead to more décor changes), chimney swept, new window treatment and have the backyard professionally landscaped?  Hire a tent person, rent chairs and tables, hire someone to make an altar are for the service itself?  By the time you add everything up, you might be spending much more than renting one of the ‘best’ places available.  If a venue rents for $6000.00 against that $20,000-$45,000 to ‘fix’ the house in order to be ready for the wedding…then perhaps you might want to steer the couple somewhere else.  Don’t forget…this wedding will have its stressors but a lot more might be piled on if it were to be held at your home.

Scenario #2. What if the newly engaged couple suggests the wedding should be held at his home?  Whew!  That would let you off the hook.  But then, ‘they (his parents)’ might be calling most of the shots, wouldn’t they?   Hmmm.  It is your daughter’s wedding.  But, don’t forget, it is their son’s wedding too.  Of course, the reality is that no matter how well you get along with the new ‘in-laws’, there is the location ownership factor to be considered.  In the end, it just might not matter one whit.  However, all of you should consider that aspect before his parents are approached.

Scenario #3. Different types of locations to consider:

Destination wedding….hope you don’t mind if we leave this one for another blog post!

Guest list 75 people. The wedding could be held at a location such as Woodend which offers a MD country setting that is relaxed yet elegant. With its classic Greek portico, sweeping lawns, and spacious, high-ceilinged rooms, Woodend provides a beautiful setting. They do have a list of caterers they allow on property.

Guest list is 180. Perhaps you’ll consider an historic building in DC such as the very elegant Decatur House Museum? As the first neighboring residence to the White House, dating to 1818, the Decatur House is one of the oldest surviving homes in Washington, DC. It sits right on Lafayette Park which can provide the most wonderful backdrop of the White House for outside photos of the wedding party before the event.  Twenty-foot vaulted ceilings top the spacious ballroom, decorated in neutral tones, and the wall of windows and French doors bring the brick courtyard into view.

    (Note: if it is held here, then the bride and groom might want to consider spending their wedding night at the Hay Adams Hotel which is only a block away…they can walk there after the reception. Wedding guests with sparklers to send them on their way could form a double line for the couple to walk through.)

    Guest list 450 of your nearest and dearest friends, your ex-husband and his wife’s friends, the couples’ friends and co-workers (he is a Congressman – so security is an issue too), his mother and her husband’s friends, his father and his wife’s friends and although you only have 3 children, his family has a blended brood of 8 siblings and their families…plus the bride wants it to be spectacular and in DC!    OK – there are quite a few places to choose from…we really are lucky to have locations that can handle large crowds (remember the inaugural balls/dinners). There is the National Building Museum or how about the Ronald Reagan Building where you can have a reception in the Woodrow Wilson Plaza and the dinner/dancing inside.

      One note of caution:  For a wedding/reception to be held in DC or the wedding in VA or MD and the reception in DC – don’t forget about traffic and where will the guests park?   You might want to consider hiring a valet service that will handle all that for you!

      Rather than having to run all over town looking at 10-15 sites and think of all the multitude of items for “THE LIST”…might it be better to choose a really wonderful wedding planner?  And might it also be wonderful to choose one that can ‘green’ your daughter’s wedding?  Try the Washington, DC Green Wedding Consortium!

      Happy Planning!
      ~Claudia Van Veen