If your step-father is going to pay for the wedding, he gets to choose the soup!

In the movie ”True Love,” a caterer persuades the beleaguered young couple to serve sky-blue mashed potatoes to match the bridesmaids’ dresses. ”You should feel that anything’s possible,” he says.

But, if you (and your husband – the step-father) love to go out to good restaurants, have attended many events and know something about the caterers in your area, or perhaps the bride or groom worked in a professional kitchen, or attended gourmet cooking classes or have seen Julia and Julia 5 times and own all her cookbooks, then the emphasis changes from gussied up food to fabulous tasting food.  So no matter how the scenario plays, you choose a caterer and then have THE TASTING.

Wedding Dinner meal tastings can be fraught with peril…so before you start, here is the etiquette that goes along with tastings.

  1. Get quotes from your various caterers, compare and then choose not more than 3.   Ask if they are conducting any tastings for groups/ do they have linens/table set ups to look at?
  2. Is your budget limited or is the “sky’s the limit”? A good caterer can give you great suggestions for either type or one smack dab in the middle.
  3. After you’ve made the decision of which caterer, then set up a date to have the tasting.
  4. Ask how many people you are allowed to bring, (do not bring more!).
  5. Tell them any dislikes prior to the tasting…if you really hate couscous ask them to leave it off…also let them know of any food allergies for people attending the tasting. Will you be having vegetarians attending?  Let your account rep know prior to the tasting so there can be something included for those people at the wedding itself.
  6. At the tasting- be clear and specific on what you like and don’t like…you won’t hurt their feelings (just do it tactfully). The sauce has anise? And you detest it? They can change sauces, leave off items you or the bride/groom dislike etc. That’s what tastings with a good caterer are for…it gives you an opportunity to modify the menu.
  7. Ask to see photos of their work,  ask about staff attire, staff ratios etc

Obviously, a great wedding planner will help guide you and your daughter through all of this! (www.eleganceandsimplicity.com – of course!)

OK- here’s an overview: You and your husband are paying for the wedding location (venue), the cocktail reception and the dinner.  You have decided on French service (French service refers to having a waiter serve the food onto each guests plate for each course as opposed to bringing out plates with the food already placed on it.) The caterer will let you bring 7 people to the tasting.  So it’s you, your husband – (fella with the buckys), the bride and groom, his parents, and a friend whose judgment both you and your daughter respect.

You will be given a list of the dishes to be served and a pen/pencil to rate which you like the best down to the least favorite.  The appetizers are served by a staff waiter; 2 seafood, 2 beef, etc., everyone raves (or not) over each piece, then you all are seated and in comes the soup (3 different tiny cups) – much discussion ensues over the soup.  Then the salad…one’s a crisp green, one is a blanched pear that is ‘too die for’ – all the women LOVE it – the men – not so much.

And then two beef, two seafood, chicken and pork entrees with wonderful sides…everyone is in heaven!  Stuffed!  (They even serve a lovely lemon sorbet to cleanse the palate between courses.) No cake will be served since your cake will come from another source.  But being the classy caterer they are, they do bring in some divine chocolates for ‘the final’ taste.   They offer reg. coffee and espresso…

Then the discussion and ratings begin of each of the items each person tasted.  Whew…got the appetizers decided, MUCH discussion again about the soup.  The women INSIST on the pear salad…and your husband is burning under the collar about the soup!  He wants what he wants especially if he’s giving in on the darn pear salad!  You whisper to your friend (the respected one) and then, you pipe up “If your step-father is going to pay for this wedding, he gets to choose the soup!” WHOA…everyone looks at you like you are an ogre….BUT no one disagrees.  The rest of the choices come easily. And thus – you’ve made it through the tasting. And he feels like he won a battle…probably the only one he will win. ;>) Ahhh, but such wonderful food…you can’t wait for the wedding, knowing the choice is perfect for your friends and their friends (bride and groom and his parents). YAY!

~Claudia Van Veen